did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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