She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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