Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
cat food counts as protein by the way
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
