the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
