Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
