What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
