i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
