dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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