I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
