and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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