The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
