Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
