this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
