in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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