im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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