Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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