Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize