You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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