operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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