I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
