You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
