hotel room ftw
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
3 2 1 whiskey
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
