So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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