a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
