i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
