just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
