Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
