As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize