I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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