Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
