wakey wakey hands off snakey
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
