and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
