trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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