Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
