How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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