I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
