I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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