It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
