Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
