By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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