Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize