dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
