Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize