i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
