I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
