Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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