I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
