Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
