id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
