What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
