both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
This is the high leading the old right now
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
