Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize