Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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