I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize