wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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