i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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