Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
