I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
