omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
In other news, I just burned my penis
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
