I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
