Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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