I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
