Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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