Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
