I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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