everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
