So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
